You know you are getting old when...

You refer to someone in their 60s as “young”.
You're asleep, but others worry that you're dead.
Your back goes out more than you do.
You quit trying to hold your stomach in, no matter who walks into the room.
You are proud of your lawn mower and bird feeder.
You sing along with the elevator music.
You would rather go to work than stay home sick.
You enjoy hearing about other people's operations.
People call at 8 PM and ask, "Did I wake you?"
The end of your tie doesn't come anywhere near the top of your pants.
You wear black socks with sandals.
Your joints are more accurate than the National Weather Service.
You finally got your head together, now your body is falling apart.
You don't care where your wife goes, just so you don't have to go along.
You look forward to a dull evening.
You come to the conclusion that your worst enemy is gravity.
Your idea of a night out is sitting on the patio.
You look for your glasses for half-an-hour, and then find they've been on your head all the time.
You wake up, looking like your driver's license picture.
You look forward to taking naps.
You wonder how you could be over the hill when you don't remember being on top of it.
Getting lucky means you find your car in the parking lot.
Your idea of weight lifting is standing up.
Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either.
Your childhood toys are now in a museum.
You frequently find yourself telling people what a loaf of bread USED to cost.
Your new easy chair has more options than your car.
Your little black book only contains names ending in M.D.
Your ears are hairier than your head.